How Perimenopause Can Re-Traumatize the Body—And Why You're Not Crazy for Feeling It

I Thought I Was Overthinking. Turns Out I Was Just Ahead of the Curve.

Okay, so I have this theory. And I'm pretty sure it's going to sound completely nuts when I say it out loud, but here we are.

It started as this nagging feeling in my gut—not some grand research revelation or anything fancy like that. Just me, lying awake at 3 AM, wondering: Besides the obvious, wtf is happening to women's bodies during perimenopause?

Here's what's been eating at me:

What if the whole perimenopause-to-menopause thing isn't just about hormones going haywire, but about our bodies finally letting all that stored trauma bubble up to the surface?

I know how that sounds. Trust me.

But then I started noticing something weird. So many women I know hit perimenopause and suddenly their glutes are on fire, their thighs feel like concrete, their pelvic floor is a mess. These are the exact areas where we hold sexuality, power, control—all that heavy stuff.

Maybe our bodies start telling the truth our minds spent decades trying to bury.

Real talk: I'm not diagnosing anyone here. I'm not a doctor or a trauma specialist. I'm just a woman with questions, and if you're reading this, maybe your body's been asking the same ones.

Does the Process of Perimenopause to Menopause Actually Feel Like Trauma?

This is where I thought I was really reaching. But the more I dug, the more it made sense.

Your hormones crash overnight. Your vagina changes in ways that make sex painful or impossible. You can't sleep. Your memory gets fuzzy. Your body literally transforms without asking your permission first.

If trauma is defined as an overwhelming experience that exceeds your ability to cope, then yeah—this process can absolutely feel traumatic. Especially if you're dealing with:

• Any unprocessed trauma from your past (sexual, emotional, or otherwise)

• Grief about losing your fertility

• Zero support while your identity completely shifts

• New problems with the parts of your body tied to sexuality and pleasure

I heard someone call it "puberty in reverse with a grief overlay," and honestly, that might be the most accurate description I've heard.

The Body Stuff That Makes No Sense (Until It Does)

Here's where it gets really weird, and where I started thinking I might be onto something.

I keep hearing about women developing:

• Hip pain that won't quit

• Glute problems that don't respond to PT

• Deep thigh tightness that feels almost emotional

• Sciatica-type symptoms with no clear cause

But it's not just the lower body. Frozen shoulder is ridiculously common in perimenopause—so common that some researchers think it should be listed right alongside hot flashes as a menopausal symptom. Your shoulders literally freeze up, often for no mechanical reason your doctor can find.

All during perimenopause. All in areas we know store different kinds of emotional weight.

Your hips and thighs? That's where we hold sexual energy, shame, power dynamics. Your shoulders? That's where we carry burdens, responsibility, the weight of holding everyone else together for decades.

Could it just be aging? Sure. Sitting too much? Maybe. But what if it's also your nervous system literally guarding the places where you've stored decades of experiences you couldn't process in the moment?

The psoas, pelvic floor, glutes, shoulder capsule—these aren't just muscles and joints. They're the body's filing system for everything we couldn't deal with when it happened. And when hormones shift and tissue changes, sometimes that filing system gets reorganized whether we're ready or not.

The Science Actually Supports This

I went looking for research to prove myself wrong, and instead found a bunch of stuff that made me feel less crazy:

Polyvagal theory shows how trauma affects the vagus nerve, especially around pelvic organs.

Somatic experiencing research proves trauma gets "stuck" in specific muscle groups—psoas, glutes, diaphragm.

Bessel van der Kolk's work demonstrates how trauma lives in fascia and movement patterns, not just memories.

Plus there's solid research showing that dropping estrogen levels reduce collagen, tissue hydration, and pain tolerance. So your body literally becomes more vulnerable to injury right when it might be processing old emotional material.

But Let's Be Real About the Limits

Not every woman experiences menopause as traumatic. Some feel empowered, relieved, even joyful during this transition.

And sometimes your glutes hurt because you sit at a desk all day and your hip flexors are tight. Not everything is deep emotional processing.

I'm not saying every ache and pain is stored trauma. I'm saying some of them might be, and we're not having honest conversations about it.

So What Do We Actually Do With This?

We stop pretending women's bodies exist in separate compartments.

Your hormones affect your muscles.

Your emotions affect your fascia.

Your trauma history affects your pain threshold.

Your sexual experiences affect how you move through the world.

When your body feels like it's falling apart in midlife but all your labs come back "normal," you're not broken. You're not crazy. You're complex.

Maybe your body is finally safe enough to let you feel what it's been carrying all these years.

Final Thoughts

This isn't some revolutionary discovery—it's just me connecting dots that were always there. Asking questions that felt too big or too weird to ask out loud.

If you've ever felt like your body was telling you a story you weren't ready to hear, or like your physical symptoms were somehow connected to experiences you thought you'd moved past—you're probably right.

And you're definitely not alone.

Your hips remember. Your thighs hold history. Your body is trying to heal, even when it feels like it's falling apart.

Maybe it's time we started listening.

What do you think? Have you noticed these patterns too? I'd love to know I'm not the only one thinking about this stuff.

—From one curious body to another